The truth about twins- or at least mine

I use to be invisible. At least that is what it felt like. I use to be able to go to the store and no one would look twice at me. If I had a baby, you always got a smile from the grandma in the isle beside me but that was about it. Nothing compared to what shopping is now. I am not exaggerating when I say that I literally have heard someone running behind me only to have them slow down and act casual when they asked 20 questions about my kids. Really? I guess my favorite is "Are ALL those children yours?"Or I often get "You have 2 sets of twins?" My favorite was when a couple of ladies were arguing with me about them being twins! The conversation went as follows: Them, "Are those twins?" Me, "yes they are!" (as I beamed with motherly pride.) Them-,"Are you sure?" Me, "yes, I am sure." (beam dimming a bit) Them, "But they don't look alike! He looks bigger!" I assured them that they were twins and went on my way but the whole time I was thinking... "REALLY? You are going to QUESTION me, the MOTHER?!?!?! I think I know for sure that they are twins!" Do you know what the definition of a twin is? Of course then there is every parent of boy/girl twins favorite: Are they identical? Just a review of biology, identical twins are two individuals that started as one embryo that split in two, meaning they have the same DNA. That means that they have the same sex. Boy/girl twins CAN NOT be identical unless we did some early gender reassignment surgery, we didn't. Besides from the earlier comments from some well meaning ladies, you can tell that they don't look alike. So here is your chance... Ask me ANYTHING about twins. I will be 100% totally honest about my experience. Even if you are a blog stocker and don't know me, I will answer. Just ask! Of course I am not an expert on all things twins, just my twins. For now here are some answers to questions I get asked a lot and some things I have learned thus far in my twin journey. Hopefully if someone that is expecting twins finds this post they will have some questions answered and hopefully a few fears settled.

A question I get asked a lot is: Your not breastfeeding them both are you?

I am not quite sure if it counts as a question when it is worded like that but... I will answer anyway! Yes I am breastfeeding them both. I usually get the response, "it took all the milk I had just to nurse one baby!" It took all the milk I had to nurse one also. I actually have to work very hard at having enough milk for one baby. I had to work even harder at having enough milk for two. Luckily I am one that if I work hard enough, I can increase my milk supply. I know that not everyone is so lucky. I have had many friend that have struggled and weren't able to breastfeed. Or friends that give them as much milk as they can but it isn't ever enough. I am just a really lazy mom and I love the convenience of having the best quality milk, always ready, warm, clean and available. I HATE planning ahead and wouldn't do well if I had to remember formula. I am lucky if I remember diapers! Needless to say I am glad that I am able to do it. But that brings me to the next question-

What is the hardest part about having twins?

For me it is having to hear one of my babies cry while I tend to the other one. I don't follow a "style of parenting" but if I had to label my style it would most resemble attachment style parenting. I feel like when babies cry they are communicating. I feel like when people communicate you should respond! I don't think you should give a baby everything they want just because they cry but most of the time they are just communicating what they need. But when you have two sometimes one needs you but you are busy with the other one. Yesterday my babies had to get shots and the nurses come in, shoot up your baby and then walk out leaving you with two screaming, naked babies and you need to get them calmed, dressed and out of there as soon as possible. Those are are the hard moments. Of course we have plenty of multiple meltdowns at home. I rate them by stars... a four star meltdown is when all the kids are crying a five star is when I join them!

Question: Which one do you like better?

Answer: Which ever one isn't crying. Actually I have to admit I was a little nervous. When I was pregnant with Max I wondered how anyone could love another child as much as their first. When I asked a friend about this she replied, "you love them for different reasons." I actually would disagree with that. In my experience, I love them all for the same reason, I am their mother. Yet I do LIKE them for different reasons. They all have different personality traits that are endearing to me. So I knew I would love the twins the same but I was worried about being in love with two babies at the same time... not a problem! I can't get enough of either one of them. I was a little worried that having a girl, that she would over shadow having "another boy." Although I love dressing Amelia up, love, true love, motherly love has nothing to do with what you put them in or painting toe nails or hair bows... they are my children and I love them all the same!

Question: Do twins run in your family? or Are your twins natural?

Answer: Now I realize that these questions are really asking is did I do fertility treatments. The answer is no. I do have two great aunts that both had twins. Fraternal twins run through the maternal line. These aunts were my maternal grandma's sisters. I heard that they were pregnant with their twins at the same time! That would have been so nice! Mostly just to have someone who understood my neurotic fears. Just something else I learned, identical twins are completely random! So if you marry a guy that has twins in the family, you are probably safe.

Safe?... I know YOU always wanted twins! I guess this isn't a question but it is something else I hear A LOT! Well, I didn't always want twins. In fact when people asked me how many kids I wanted I would respond "I am not sure, just one at a time." There are times that even now I wonder why these two precious ones couldn't come down one at a time. I mean I seriously wonder what it has to do with God's great plan that these two came together. Did I need to learn more patience? Did they need one another? I just don't know but all I know is that it is pretty cool to see the relationship between these two! So although I am not sure that I ever wanted twins, watching these two it makes me wish I was a twin!

Question: Do twins really have a "special relationship?" I can't speak for all twins but mine sure seem to. Since they were brand new, they always reached out for each other and held hands. See the top picture of them. They were less than two weeks old when that was taken. They are OK to be separated but they really love to be together. Unless the other is getting in their space. The picture below shows how much they already depend on each other. Amelia was mad at me and I placed her by Cooper. She grabbed onto his arm and put her head on his shoulder while she cried. He glared at me as to reprimand me for making her mad. I love it! And I feel very blessed, even through the chaos and madness and losing my mind, that I was chosen to be their mother!